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WARNING WILL ROBINSON

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    Dear Future Mr. President Barack Obama,

    Dear Sir,
    I prostrate myself at your feet and humbly beg forgiveness for my shortsightedness and past comments. They were written in jest, I assure you.

    I was unaware at the time the words coming from your campaign were not mere rhetoric, such as when your lovely wife Michelle said you would require us to work. I also thought your call for a "National Civilian Security Corps" funded as well as the military, sounded at first a little too close to the Stasi. Now I realize you simply want us to "volunteer" for our country. I couldn't agree with you more now. America is full of lazy, uppity white folks who expect to be taken care of on the backs of others and someone must do something to make all of us proud of our country again.

    I even now understand why you have called on the Department of Justice to shut down a pro-McCain group for an ad attacking you for your association with the great patriot William Ayers. I now see there are a large group of people in this country who don't understand your ways and they must be silenced if you are to usher in a Golden Age of Freedom in the New Workers Paradise of America.

    If you are to enact this vision for America and the World you are going to need unyielding loyalty and blind obedience and nothing less can be tolerated. I understand. I fully expect "dissent is patriotic" to be considered "hate speech" under your leadership. The First Amendment must be destroyed and using whatever means at your disposal is what we expect of our most Glorious Leader. You can do no less for the good of the country.

    May I make a humble suggestion, Oh Anointed one? Place William Ayers in charge of imploding the Pentagon and other useless military related institutions once you are "elected" our Supreme Leader." He would probably work for free but may I suggest you use the financial acumen you received at the Chicago Annenberg Challenge? I am sure you could find other worthy citizens to accept your largesse in rebuilding our country in your unique vision.

    Please also accept my fierce loyalty to you and your ideals. I am completely behind you one hundred percent, and will promptly report anyone calling you totalitarian. In fact I will go one better. I will report anyone saying anything bad about you at all even if it is simply remarking on the choice of tie you wear that day.

    I know, I know, to bring us back to the greatness we once knew we are going to have to make some changes. The fairness doctrine must be brought back in greater force and applied to the internet also. Hate speech laws, such as they have in Europe, should probably be enacted. Again, it's that pesky First Amendment.

    Please know that I and many other subjects are completely behind you, working towards your ascendancy to the White House and would be most grateful for whatever you deign to do for us once you hold the reins of power.

    Perhaps you can also usher in a golden age of health care, such as they have in Cuba. We need decent health care in this country. Perhaps you could put Hillary in charge of that department.

    In signing off I wish to say, I believe. I am an amateur student of history and can honestly say I have not seen a campaign such as yours since the early 1930's.

    I Hope for Change.

    O-BA-MA

    O-BA-MA

    O-BA-MA

    Your Uncomprehendingly Loyal Subject, Kender

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