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3:40 PM | 
Posted by
kender
So, now that I have tossed back a beer, belched, scratched and rearranged the package, I fired up the jukebox and got some Rodney Carrington playing I can tell one of the secrets of The Sisterhood.
The Sisterhood is that club that women are automatically a member of once they "Grow Up", and the older they get the more indepth they go.......about their sex life.....with their girlfriends.........ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!
Now I have learned that there is a natural hierarchy in any group of girls, and it is rare for any group to have to have an unchallenged "queen" of the group, unless that group is entirely made up of fag-hags, but that is another story.
Each group of women has an avowed queen for several different catagories. Shopping, Worst Taste in Men, Shoe Whore, a Queen of Easy, her antithesis The Ice Queen, a Diet Queen.....you name it and most groups of women that are friends will have quite a few queen titles within it, sometimes with one woman holding several titles at once. For instance, The Queen of Shopping is almost always the Shoe Whore too.
Now, one of the little known titles is The Queen of NOHEDIDN'T!!!!
The woman that holds that title is the one with the latest horror story from the bedroom.
These little groups of women will discuss in the most minute detail their sex lives.
Boys, your womans friends know EVERY DETAIL about yoru sex life.
Size.
Frequency.
Pecadillos.
Gentlemen....your womans friends know details about your sex life that you wouldn't scrawl in crayon in gibberish to an illiterate anonymous therapist in another galaxy.
What's more, they come home and tell their men what is happening in THEIR friends bedrooms, sometimes leading to uncomfortable meetings with men that may have once been your friends, but you cannot look them in the eye now that you know their girlfriend/wife, who was at your house for dinner lat night, calls them Tiny Tim the Bug Bangin' Minute Man.
I have actually had to stop going to one friends house for parties and bar-b-qs because I heard about his zeal, his horrid aim and a sprain caused by a bathroom counter......I am sorry I cannot look a man in the eye when I know THAT!!!
Now.....I want you to think about this.....does your woman occassionally tell you "funny" stories about what suzie did when john got his wheezer stuck in a pump and had to be taken to the ER?
If you aren't hearing these stories then your women is The Queen of NOHEDIDN'T!!!!
And your womans friends AND their boyfriends/husbands know all about your exploits and embarrassment in your pitiful attempt at being a MAN!!!!
Fortunately there IS a solution.
Anytime you feel amorous, be absolutely certain to give your woman nothing to complain about.....work that ass brother, and do your best to put her head through a wall......she may holler alot but it is an injury that she will be proud of and smirking about all the next day, and maybe for the better part of a week.
Of course there is still the standard man response to sex.
"Hey, as long as I get my cookie."
The Sisterhood is that club that women are automatically a member of once they "Grow Up", and the older they get the more indepth they go.......about their sex life.....with their girlfriends.........ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!
Now I have learned that there is a natural hierarchy in any group of girls, and it is rare for any group to have to have an unchallenged "queen" of the group, unless that group is entirely made up of fag-hags, but that is another story.
Each group of women has an avowed queen for several different catagories. Shopping, Worst Taste in Men, Shoe Whore, a Queen of Easy, her antithesis The Ice Queen, a Diet Queen.....you name it and most groups of women that are friends will have quite a few queen titles within it, sometimes with one woman holding several titles at once. For instance, The Queen of Shopping is almost always the Shoe Whore too.
Now, one of the little known titles is The Queen of NOHEDIDN'T!!!!
The woman that holds that title is the one with the latest horror story from the bedroom.
These little groups of women will discuss in the most minute detail their sex lives.
Boys, your womans friends know EVERY DETAIL about yoru sex life.
Size.
Frequency.
Pecadillos.
Gentlemen....your womans friends know details about your sex life that you wouldn't scrawl in crayon in gibberish to an illiterate anonymous therapist in another galaxy.
What's more, they come home and tell their men what is happening in THEIR friends bedrooms, sometimes leading to uncomfortable meetings with men that may have once been your friends, but you cannot look them in the eye now that you know their girlfriend/wife, who was at your house for dinner lat night, calls them Tiny Tim the Bug Bangin' Minute Man.
I have actually had to stop going to one friends house for parties and bar-b-qs because I heard about his zeal, his horrid aim and a sprain caused by a bathroom counter......I am sorry I cannot look a man in the eye when I know THAT!!!
Now.....I want you to think about this.....does your woman occassionally tell you "funny" stories about what suzie did when john got his wheezer stuck in a pump and had to be taken to the ER?
If you aren't hearing these stories then your women is The Queen of NOHEDIDN'T!!!!
And your womans friends AND their boyfriends/husbands know all about your exploits and embarrassment in your pitiful attempt at being a MAN!!!!
Fortunately there IS a solution.
Anytime you feel amorous, be absolutely certain to give your woman nothing to complain about.....work that ass brother, and do your best to put her head through a wall......she may holler alot but it is an injury that she will be proud of and smirking about all the next day, and maybe for the better part of a week.
Of course there is still the standard man response to sex.
"Hey, as long as I get my cookie."
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11 comments:
That is so true. I feel for all the weak boys trying to be men....
I really feel for ya...I feel the ground as I am ROTFLMAO.
Knocking heads through a wall? Is that all you can muster Kender? The girls will still be yackin.
You are too funny, Kender....the stuff you blog about!
But, seriously, you girls do talk to each other and 'share' more than most men know.
Being married, I am sadly privy to many details I'd rather not know ...
/TJ
... NIF
... The Wide Awakes
In the same vein I heard that a lip reader caught a conversation between Bill Clinton and Condi on their way back from the Pope's funeral. Bill asked Condi a very personal question and her reply was," In your case when it turns black it means only three days til it falls off."
Think Hil will hear about this?
Thank you for that comment TJ....I told ya so guys.....
Oh Mr. Kender, sir, how is your "radio show" going for ya? Have you gotten the adoration and respect that you seek in this new, exciting venture of yours? It's revolutionary, you know.
LOL please don't tell anyone my IP address -- I'm trying to maintain my anonymity.
Signed,
69.231.160.105
Great show last night! Still no moonbats calling in? They must be skeerd.
Jay - you are definitly right. It MUST be that people are "skeerd" to call in. Kender was nice enough to exempt me from "Moonbat" status (shucks...thanks...), but it surely has NOTHING to do with people wanting to SLEEP at night or that the awareness of the show is probably relatively low.
Nope - they're just "skeerd".
Oh, and I agree with Kender on this one. My current girlfriend doesn't really do this too much, mostly because she doesn't really have any close friends of a group that she always hangs out with, but past girlfriends definitly have, and even with my current girlfriend, I've heard a few stories...
Its not like guys don't talk either. We're just less likely to be as truthful (boastful maybe...) and far less likely to be very detailed.
Oh, I think they're 'scared, all right. They have the courage to come over here and leave troll droppings, attacking his show while he's on the air, calling themselves "anonymous", lol!!!!
That's a real profile in courage, and apparently there are at least a few who are up at that hour who are keeping track...from France, Germany or whatever country, lol...! I know for a fact that whynot was going to call, but Dianne has him by the short hairs, so he didn't. Some manly man he is, I bet he's no taller than a leprachaun and Dianne keeps him in her pocket.
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