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WARNING WILL ROBINSON

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    The following song is available at the Whiskey Bards website and is well worth the money.

    Gather ’round, ye lads and lasses, set ye for a while
    And hearken to me mournful tale about the Emerald Isle
    Let’s all raise our glasses high to friends and family gone
    And lift our voices in another Irish drinking song

    Consumption took me mother and me father got the pox
    Me brother drank the whiskey ’til he wound up in a box
    My other brother in the Troubles met with his demise
    My sister has forever closed her smiling Irish eyes

    CHORUS:
    Now everybody’s died
    So until our tears are dried
    We’ll drink and drink and drink and drink,
    and then we’ll drink some more
    We’ll dance and sing and fight
    until the early morning light
    Then we’ll throw up, pass out, wake up, and then go drinking once again

    Kenny was killed in Kilkenny and Claire, she died in Clare
    Tip from Tipperary died out in the Derry air
    Shannon jumped into the River Shannon back in June
    Ernie fell into the Erne, and Tom is in the Toome

    “Cleanliness is godliness” me Uncle Pat would sing
    He broke his neck a’slippin’ on a bar of Irish Spring
    O’Grady, he was 80 though his bride was just a pup
    He died upon the honeymoon when she got his Irish up

    CHORUS

    Joe Murphy fought with Reilly near the banks of old Doneen
    He took out his shillelagh and he stabbed him in the spleen
    Crazy Uncle Mike believed he was a leprechaun -
    In fact he’s just a leper, and his arms and legs are gone

    When Timmy Johnson broke his neck it was a cryin’ shame
    He wasn’t really Irish, but he went to Notre Dame
    McNamara crossed the street and by a bus was hit
    But he was just a Scotsman, so nobody gave a (ARRGHH)

    CHORUS

    Me drunken Uncle Brendan tried to drive home from the bar
    The road rose up to meet him when he fell out of his car
    Irony was what befell my great-grand Uncle Sam
    He choked upon the very last potato in the land

    Conor lived in Ulster town, he used to smuggle arms
    Until the British killed him and cut off his lucky charms
    And dear old Father Flanagan, who left the lord’s employ
    Drunk on sacramental wine, beneath the altar boy

    CHORUS

    (slower)

    Someday soon I’ll leave this world of pain and toil and sin
    The Lord will take me by the hand to join all of me kin
    Me only wish is when the Savior comes for me and you

    (a tempo)

    He kills the cast of Riverdance, and Michael Flatley too

    CHORUS (2x)

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