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WARNING WILL ROBINSON

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    Two thousand eight hundred and some odd miles.

    That is about how far it is from Rockmart, Georgia to King City, Oregon. If you put that into Google maps you get less miles, but our route took us to visit a couple of people along the way, missing a couple of more (sorry Kit), and figuring out a few things along the way.

    This country is truly huge. Freakin' huge. Don't believe me? Try driving it......at 55 MPH.....the countryside will crawl by at an agonizingly tedious rate. Even doing 70 seems slow when on the Kansas highway......

    I happen to know this about Kansas because I just drove across it. And Nebraska. And a mess of other states. I was helping a friend help his mom move. We rented a twenty four foot truck, diesel, automatic, which means, to those of you that know trucks, that we had a truck that had the amazing abilities of being able to make lots of noise while having no real power to get up to speed.

    We lovingly nicknamed it "Howard the Truck, Dean of the Democratic Highway."

    As I said, Kansas is boring. So was Nebraska. In Hebron, Nebraska, we were forced to get a room, because at 2 A.M. there is nowhere to buy more fuel. In Arkansas we had some barbeque that was a little too vinegary, but the company couldn't be beat. In Twin Falls, Idaho, the view of the gorge next to the IHOP is almost indescribable.

    But nothing tops Oregon.

    I was fine when we reached Oregon.

    I knew that Oregon was full of tree-hugging-patchouli-reeking-enviro-mental-damned-hippies. I expected this. I knew they had passed authanasia laws, and that you could put on a sex show on your front lawn, legally and nothing could come of it. I had forgotten that Oregon was the state that wanted to put GPS units in all of the cars for registration purposes, meaning that the more you drive the more you pay. But nothing has preparedme for the fact that when it comes to fuel for vehicles that Oregon is the most oppresive and socialist state I could imagine.

    Apparently us mortal folks aren't supposed to pump our own fuel in Oregon. Someone tried to tell me that this was because "some people get trained to use the vapor recovery nozzles correctly" and that means better air quality, but that would mean that California, (and other states that don't mandate "professional fuel technicians" be the only ones to pump gas) is allowing an entire state full of unqualified fuel pumping morons to befoul the air of our great country, and I don't see that as the case. I think it was someone's way to "create jobs". Think about it.

    It's just like when the french decided that the way to make more jobs was to force people to work less....if we make a law that states someone MUST be hired to fulfill a certain duty then we are creating jobs....

    That pissed me off to no end.

    But what really got me angry, the thing that made me really REALLY MAD, was when we got into Oregon and were told "Without a PUC permit diesel is 24 cents more PER GALLON!!!!!!!!

    Oregonians look at it like this; If you are driving a diesel you are befouling the air, if you are befouling the air with a diesel you had better be working, as diesels pollute too much for normal people to drive them, so if you want to drive a diesel powered vehicle and you are not using it to make money it is going to cost you significantly more money to drive. If you are using it to make money than you need to get a PUC permit, that way we know who to expect a tax return from and if you are buying fuel and not filing taxes than we can take a harder look at you and audit you but don't you dare try to make any money and think for a moment that we won't try to crawl in your ass and find every last damned dime we feel we are entitled to steal from you.

    See, if you are driving a diesel in Oregon, and you are using it to make money with, you must decide if it is going to cost you more in actual taxes paid on income, or if you are going to pay more in the extra fuel tax if you aren't registered with the Oregon PUC.

    In the meantime, people that move in from out of state, using a diesel powered truck are forced to pay an additional 10% tax on fuel. But that's OK......since it was diessel fuel there wasn't a state mandated fuel pumper standing there to fuel up the truck at the truck stop. Maybe diesel fuel is only bad when it burns and you don't need to be specially trained to pump it, unlike regular fuel.

    Either way, Oregon Sucks!!!!

    Everything from the Bay Area in Northern California to the Canadian border, from the Sierra Nevada range and the Cascades to the Pacific Ocean needs to be fumigated!!!

    Geographically speaking, that entire area should be quarantined and sprayed for Liberals. It is infested. And If nothing is doen I am afraid that the infestation will spread. If we fumigate now, we can avoid amputation later.

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