kenderstest

Breitbarts article on Big Hollywood ridiculing celebrities for making a pledge to better the world and work with our new messi-I mean president after spending 8 long years denigrating the former President and making anyone who supported him want to strangle them for their arrogant stupidity is a work of genius, of course, because well, it's Breitbart. But he inspired me to put together my own pledge list, and the video version will hopefully be out soon.

I pledge to give as much of a chance to Obama as his sycophantic cultic moonbat contingent gave Bush for eight years

I pledge to contribute to global warming

I pledge to increase foreclosures on the unwashed masses

I pledge to exploit the poor and the weak

I pledge to grind my heel into the working mans back

I pledge to tell more racist jokes

I pledge to hire more illegals, and screw American workers

I pledge to pay my illegal workers lower wages

I pledge to destroy the environment

I pledge to club more baby seals

I pledge to wear more fur

I pledge to eat more meat

I pledge blindly hate people not like me

I pledge to be greedier

I pledge to be meaner

I pledge preach at you more, and tolerate you less

I pledge to work for war, because there is no money is peace

I pledge to laugh at stupid celebrities who think pledges will change the world

I pledge to be more close minded, spout more platitudes and believe in utterly empty kumbuy-friggin-yah measures while the wolves howl at the door.

What’s your pledge?

I pledge to treat their president as they treated mine, to treat them as they treated us, because together we can, together we are and together we will be following sheep.

What's your pledge?

PETA’s call to remake the image of fish by changing their name to “sea kitten” — a cuddly and adorable moniker to be sure — got me to thinking. Men have many euphemisms for female private parts. Renaming fish to sea kittens, while a warm and fuzzy thought, causes many problems and has the potential to sow massive confusion in the world.

First off, I am wondering, if we change the name of fish to sea kittens will we have a nickname for fish as we do for land cats? Land cats (for those who may live under a rock or are completely obtuse) are also called pussycats. I am certain I don’t have to lay out the obvious thought following the preceding one other than to say a whole new world opened up before me with PETA’s latest campaign.

The problems start with men and where our brains are located. Many women believe we tend to think with our stomachs. Other females believe our thought processes emanate from a little lower on the male anatomy. For us males, the prospect of confusing the pleasurable pastime of fishing and eating fish with the sometimes equally gratifying diversion of lovemaking will no doubt cause our brains to cramp up and our heads to explode, thus denuding planet Earth of males capable of reproducing.

But simply calling fish something cutesy sounding won’t change the fact that they are still slimy, pointy-headed, bug-eyed but tasty creatures. It’s the confusion sown by this radical change that will no doubt make speaking about carnal delights and lunch even more interchangeable and take the connection between them to a rhetorical level never before imagined except in the minds of perhaps Larry Flynt or Camille Paglia.

I am thinking a sea kitten sandwich sounds much more exotic than a “Filet-O-Fish,” but a seapussy sandwich is in the realm of the unknown. What about catfish? Would it now be catkitten? Or catpussy maybe? It’s probably a good thing former major league pitcher James “Catfish” Hunter has left this world otherwise he would have to be known as “Catkitten” Hunter — not the kind of nickname that would ordinarily land one in the Hall of Fame. And what about SpongeBob’s loyal sidekick Patrick the Starfish? Would he now be known as Patrick the Starkitten?

New troubles also arise in the world of sport fishing. When a man tells his wife he is going trolling, she’ll look askance at him while making certain he takes the boat with him when he leaves the house. After all, if you say you are heading out to go “kittening” and tell the wife you will be bringing some seapussy home for dinner, well, I can see the trouble brewing now with PETA’s misguided attempt to save the animals, even the tasty ones. Try it on your wife tonight and see what happens.

Other possible changes are whitefish being known as white kitten (whitepussy being trademarked by the aforementioned Mr. Flynt) and swordfish becoming sword kittens, which sounds a lot like some dagger-weilding, anime superhero. The problem of walking into a pet store and asking for kitten food is going to cause confusion not seen since Clinton muttered something about what the definition of “is” is.

On the other hand, I envision a whole new industry of sea kitten recipe books. The Brits would also have a grand time with this change of nomenclature. A nation that eagerly scarfs down pussy and chips at lunch every day may actually help bring about world peace. Millions of kids eating pussy sticks for school lunch, however, are certain to get Dobson and his bunch in an uproar.

Another great angle to this whole insane plan is the phrase “fishing expedition” to denote someone who is simply “casting about” in hopes of finding incriminating evidence. The phrase “sea kitten expedition” is simply too unwieldy, but the phrase “sea pussy expedition” makes it sound as it you are searching for lustful mermaids.

By far the most egregious changes which will take place must be the ones to be foisted on us when churches everywhere start giving sermons about the loaves and the sea kittens. No matter how awkward the phrase, get used to it because no preacher in his right mind is going to do a sermon on the loaves and the seapussies. (If you hear of one, let me know. Now that’s a sermon I don’t want to miss.)

This is obviously not a well thought out plan by the radical anti-people screwballs, and to tell you the truth, the concept of renaming fish as sea kittens has me laughing so hard I can barely type. It also makes me wonder if anyone at PETA gave an ounce of serious thought before saying, “Hey, yeah, let’s try to get people to associate fish with kittens.” However, that is not really the worst of it.

The worst comes when we get stuck on stupid and let a bunch of misguided goofballs start making us feel guilty for eating ugly animals that taste good in some sad attempt to save the planet. God gave us ugly animals so we wouldn’t feel bad about eating them. That’s a fact. It’s in the Bible somewhere.

At the end of the day I only have two questions running through my head. First, if sea kitten tastes so good might not land kitten be tasty also? And second, where can I go to get a tuna pussy taco?

Romans 12:19 (King James Version) says;

"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."

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So I have been looking for some old friends. Finally found them (the internet is amazing) and am back in touch with them. She is doing well and her daughter is so grown up and amazingly talented. She's a cutie too. Gonna be trouble now that the guys are poking around too. So I am heading to hang out for a day or two with them, maybe try ice skating again and will be off line for a couple of days it looks like. Hope you guys have a great new years. See ya' next year. (unless I come up with something important to say)

The Christ was born this sacred day
Rejoice hallelujah
The bells ring out and angels wing
Rejoice hallelujah
The choirs voice of Seraphim
Rejoice hallelujah
Sing to His Glory the King of Kings
Rejoice hallelujah

and this one:

Untitled
Raise a glass my dear old friends
Raise a toast on high
For Our holy day is here at last
Christmas Day is nigh
The day of our own saviors birth
Redemptions promise born
Our lives are now made whole again
Our souls no longer torn
Everlasting life is ours
Birthed upon a cross
While in this life we may know death
It’s not the final loss
His life He gave so you may live
No greater love can be
Accept that love with open arms
And heaven you will see

“Does love exist?” asked the wizened old man
who sat at the bar next to me
“I love this beer” I quickly shot back
“What other love could there be?”
“The love” he says “that grabs your heart.
The kind that won’t let go
A love that passes on thru death
And lives forever you know”
Says I “that love lives not in this world friend,
I’m certain it is gone”
“Then come with me” the old man bade
“We won’t be gone too long”
He walked me thru the baby ward
where a mother held her new child
And in her eyes I saw a pure love
which I knew would last more than awhile
He took me to the mission inn
where homeless go to eat
The serving man behind the counter
had rags wrapped round his feet
“Old man” I said “should you not be
the one receiving this fare?”
He smiled a mostly toothless grin
and said “look over there”
I looked to where his ladle showed
a family huddled close
With their meals laid out in front of them
offering up a toast
“To God” they said,
“as He provides for those who need the aid”
To men who help with rag wrapped feet
his thanks he simply bade
Next we went to the grave yard where
an old widow knelt in the dirt
Cleaning the stone laid atop her dear mate
even though her aged knees surely hurt…
He took me aside to a mountaintop
where three crosses stood side by side
And showed me the spot on Jerusalems soil
where for all our sins He did die…
“You see the love that burns beyond our petty lives,
you cannot deny its flame”
And in the shadow of that cross
I hung my head in shame…
The love that burns brightest is the hardest to grab, its for this love He did die…
And I saw the love burn
and I felt my redemption
And in the bright darkness I cried….

Merry Christmas. May God hold you in the palm of his hand. And to all our soldiers not able to make it home this season (snaks this one is for you) Thank you.

goes out...cuz it aint me shoveling snow....everything happens for a reason....

It's snowing here....in the desert...been snowing since about dawn and gonna keep on for many many more hours....take your global warming and shove it ya lying sack...