kenderstest

My heart is free
Again
My heart is hard
Once more
I am worthy
Again
She is not
Anymore

I wanna dance, I wanna sing
I wanna write some real nasty things
I am free of her memory, my heart sails once more
I took her sweet love shoved it right out the door
Onward and upward to much better things
Cuz it's time to dance
Time to laugh
Time to sing

I dreamt of sunny afternoons
Spent wrapped within your arms
I dreamt of jet black winter nights
The focus of your charms
I dreamt of verdant springtime morns
With you beside me, love
I dreamt of loving smiles and hands
As gentle as a dove
I dreamt I was your sun, my love
My Luna you remain
I dreamt my heart had not been torn
My love was not a stain
I dreamt our love had carried on
We'd never grown apart
I dreamt it all tucked deep within
My sorry broken heart.

...without hating them?

Answer me that and you win gratitude....what do you do when your muse has flown?

How do you move on when you are incomplete, empty and have a cavernous hole in your soul?

People aren't like cars...you shouldn't be able to replace them so easily....

and how does love die?

the crew in my head is having a great debate.....and I sit and listen in and wonder why they all won't just go get jobs and shut up.

The future is just the past that hasn't happened yet....BT, thanks for the insight, the words and the friendship....time to burn down everything, start all over, make it right.

Searching for myself
In the depths of my mind
Where ghosts roam free
From auld lang syne
Whispers of the past
Clash
With future paths
Open, teasing
Promises heralded
Of ghosts unborn
Roads untraveled
Loves unmet
And yet
And yet
I am not to be found
Within my mind
No trace of me
In my heart I find
I am not lost
I am not found
It's to another heart
I'm bound
Let me free
Let me be
I must again
Discover me...

why must women be so two faced?

and why does betrayal hurt so much?

The song by Staind called Believe seem way too apropo for my life right now. Many thanks to my little brother Jon for turning me onto it.

Gotta go to Vegas Faire. Amblefolke will be there which means I will have improv artists worthy of playing with. I have several new and completely original gigs planned for this year. I think my favorite will either be Serenade Me (also called Concerto is Duh Minor) or Don't leave Me Dear. If you want to know what they are you'll just have to come to faire and catch them being performed.

Life's a funny thing. Just when you think you may have a hold of it it tosses you a curve ball that twists your eyeballs around and leaves you spinning in circles. Somehow no matter how hard I try I just don't get women. Someone once told me a certain girl was a control freak and she hated not being able to control people and situations in her life. I didn't see it until I knew her for a few years and finally had a chance to be around her. I don't understand that drive to control everything around you. Maybe if people worked on their life and left the world to others the world would be a better place.

Windows vista sux. The only thing it would be good for is sending to gitmo and forcing prisoners to try to boot up. Then again if the leftists complain about waterboarding they would really flip if we did that.

Sometimes I think Whiskey Lullaby is not as sad as the song seems. Maybe retreating into a bottle isn't so bad. The first line, "She put him out like the burning end of a midnight cigarette" is powerful. I know how that midnight cigarette feels.

Hope comes from within.

What happens when hope has fled? Where does it come from then? Is it like a flower and regrows with TLC and time? Or is it a finite resource and when it's gone it's gone? I know they say hope springs eternal, but I am thinking my spring ahs run dry.

I guess time will tell.

Repression leads to depression.

I may trademark that phrase, it's that good, but I think only myself and one other person would get what I mean by it. What would you mean by it?

Blinded by the Light by Manfred Manns Earth Band is perhaps the silliest song ever written. And one of the catchiest too.

Lost love sings bug me.....when you don't need 'em they are just noise and when you do it's spooky to have life reflections coming from a radio speaker.

If you spend one damned minute trying to understand what comes out of a womans mouth you spend another minute trying to recover from it so you lose two minutes of your life in useless pursuits. Your time is better spent picking your nose or cleaning your ears with someone else's keys. Conversations with females should be limited to what you want to eat, what time YOU will be ready to leave to be somewhere or how nekked you want them to be when you decide to come home.

Nuff siad for now...be back monday night.

Standing alone...
On a rooftop in the city...
Quiet and brooding
Life changes wash over me....
Like moonlight through the fog
Hazy and damp....
Love lost friends found
Soul burning down
Like an uncovered lamp...
The road in life is jarring
And it only leads to hell...
When the heart is broke and lonely
And you can hear death's lonely knell...
Arising like a phoenix
From the ashes of my life...
I await the dawn
With bated breath
To face again the strife...
I shall not be defeated
In victory I shall cry...
A lonely howl to heavens doors
I shall never die

The post from yesterday (taken down now) was scary I am sure. I was in a dark place. You guys are wonderful. I won't go into details but I will say this. I am better but I need your help. I need wheels and a home. Those of you who know the details will understand what's happening, where I have been and the situation. If you can help hit the paypal button in the sidebar. Prayers always appreciated. Thanks for your support.

So Howard Kurtz writes an article for the Wall Street Journal detailing Obama's lies regarding his association with far left un-convicted American terrorist William Ayers.

Despite having authored two autobiographies, Barack Obama has never written about his most important executive experience. From 1995 to 1999, he led an education foundation called the Chicago Annenberg Challenge (CAC), and remained on the board until 2001. The group poured more than $100 million into the hands of community organizers and radical education activists.

The goal of the group was not education but subversion. I have always held the intelligence of our electorate in suspicion. The average IQ of an American is 100, so it stands to reason half of our population is stupider than the average American. If the Obamessiah wins this election my theory will have been proven in spades.

Go read the article linked in the first line then go read the one written by Michael van der Galien, Editor-in-Chief of Poligazette.

They will open your eyes if you are a supporter of Obama and if it doesn't you will have proven yourself one of those folks with a below average IQ I wrote about earlier.

Imagine the shock when I saw this story about Toby Keith supporting Obama.

Keith, known to main stream Americans for his song "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue," has apparently smoked one too many doobs with Willy and drank a couple of gallons of Liberal Kool-Aid stating he's a democrat and is impressed by Senator Obama.

My shock goes to the bone. To have one of the most patriotic country stars step up and publicly admire the most socialist twit to ever run for the office of President is flabbergasting in the least. I am wondering how this will play in Nashville. I'd like to know why Toby has suddenly decided Freedom isn't worth fighting for and why it is my fellow citizens who toil away at their jobs should be forced to support those who refuse to do so. I'd really like to know, just for fairness sake, what makes him think he has any more standing to comment on national politics. I don't like it when the simpletons in Hollyweird make policy statements so I have to hold Mr. Keith to the same standards.

Either way I have lost respect for the man and must seriously consider if I will be purchasing his next musical endeavor.

I humbly suggest you folks consider doing the same.

Dear America.

I wasn't going to post today.

I was going to sit back and let others say what needs to be said today, to a nation who has forgotten.

They have forgotten the shock of that morning.

They have forgotten the sick feeling in the pit of their stomach as they saw people choose to fling themselves from a hundred stories up to slam into the ground below rather than face the hell like inferno any longer.

They have forgotten the despair that twisted their very souls as they saw those towers fall, wishing beyond all hope they were dreaming and knowing they weren't.

They have forgotten the fear as an anxious nation stood transfixed and life ground to a screeching halt and rumors flowed in about attacks elsewhere.

They have forgotten the feeling of "One Nation" which flowed after the attacks, when they lined up and gave blood, praying survivors to use it would be found.

They have forgotten the grief as a Nation cried when none were.

May God Bless those we lost.

May God Damn those who did it and all like them.

There is but One God.

He is NOT allah.

And by His name shall we attain Victory over our enemies and Peace once again.

Amen.

But it's still a gratuitous comment.

Big thanks to Rotber for this toon....

Dear Russell, I was distressed, to say the least, to hear you on the MTV music awards disparage President George Bush as a "retarded cowboy." Sure, the man has his faults. He never answers the criticism and outright lies thrown at him by the left, but that's probably because he still believes the vast majority of Americans are too smart to fall for them. Unfortunately that may no longer be true. Certainly whoever gave you the primo gig of hosting the MTV Awards show certainly seems to be lacking in intelligence. After all, who but an utter moron would give a half rate insane wannabe comic with a rats nest hairdo who lacks the common sense to show his host country a modicum of respect the high profile job of hosting one of the premier music awards show on the planet?

Add in insult to injury when you backed obama. Russell, let me ask you a question; When was the last time an American went over to Jolly Old England, Home of Cutting Edge Dentistry, and made a suggestion about whom they should vote for? On second thought maybe one of us should go over and do just that, as without our input a large number of your fellow countrymen have managed to elect the biggest bunch of simpletons this planet has ever seen run a country into the ground. I must say if you brits are vying for Fastest Decline of a Country Award you are doing a bang up job. I understand sharia law is going to be enacted any day now.

After catching some of your "act" online I have to say funny really isn't your thing, so maybe a little leeway is in order for your comments and utter lack of class. By the way, they have this really nifty invention called a "comb." Maybe you should look into it. Having a hairstyle like Witch Hazel does have its advantages. It lends itself well to the image that you are simply some better dressed insane homeless guy ranting on the street corner, so maybe you should keep it.

Anyway, your hair has put me in the mood for some good old fashioned comedy which reaches heights of hilarity you could only reach in an alternate universe in which you were the sole inhabitant. Have a great life Russell old boy, and tell those caterpillars living on your forehead to hang in there, someday they'll spread their wings and fly, unlike their host.

Enjoy the video.